Parents always tell other expecting parents the cliche phrase, “Your life will never be the same”. This statement could not be more true. I could give a laundry list of ways that our lives have changed since March 1, 2016 when we first became parents to Chase. However, I’ll refrain from that because ain’t nobody got time for all that. So instead, I reflected on the top 3 ways it has changed me.
- I pray more. Now do I get down on my knees every hour and close my eyes? No. But I do talk to God randomly throughout the day about my worries: for my children, for my husband, for other moms, other children etc. I’m a pretty laid-back mama, but I still have the same “what-if” anxieties that creep into my consciousness every now and then. Like, “What if Chase decides to go rogue from the group while out for a walk with his class and runs into traffic?” Yup, crazy morbid, but when you become a Mom your mind really does go there. So I pray…that they are kept safe. Now that we have a wild toddler, my patience has been tested to its limits at times (and I’ve been told it’s only the beginning). For example, he sometimes does that wet-noodle move on me, laying on the floor in the middle of the grocery store refusing to get up. So I pray…that I can get through that shopping trip without the cops being called on me for dragging my child around the store. Becoming a mother has made me more sensitive to the struggles of other moms. I know how much I’ve been blessed with and wish all moms had what they needed to care for their children and themselves, but I know that is far from reality. So I pray…that they’ll receive the resources and support they need.
- I sleep less. Like, a lot less. We probably get up on average of 2-3 times a night between the two boys. And since both of us work full-time, the lack of sleep definitely adds up. I can function on a good 5ish hours of zz’s. However, coffee has become a very close friend of mine. Sure it’s not a sustainable way to live, but I’m told it gets better…right?
- I let it go. I’ve learned that every day as a mom will present you with different challenges, different decisions to be made, different battles to choose. It’s harder to maintain close ties with some friends that I had before I had kids. Your social schedule shifts when you become a parent and most of the time one or both kids will be in tow to those social events. All of a sudden the prime times to hang out are 8-11AM or 3-6PM (Because God-forbid we cut into naptime), and playdates become one of the easiest ways to catch up with friends. So my old happy hour-/weekend-warrior Carolyn? I let it go. If you ask my husband, he would probably agree that I’m super micro-manager when it comes to household stuff and the kids’ routines. But I’ve learned that if you’re going to delegate tasks to someone else so you can have some downtime, you can’t expect it to be 100% your way. Sure some of my clothes are a little pink after hubby-laundry days, sure the boys are wearing mismatched outfits, but it’s one less thing for me to do. I let it go. Life is too short to stress over small things, and when you can let it go, you enjoy life more.
I reached out to the IG and friends to conduct a survey asking other mamas the same: How has motherhood changed you? Some of the results that you may relate to:
- “I am more of a homebody. I used to go out all the time, but now I’d much prefer a weekend night in with my husband and my kids on the couch watching a movie. Well maybe because I’m too tired to do anything else!”
- “My priorities are definitely different. My schedule is mostly consumed by extra curricular activities, family events and taking care of them. Everything else kinda falls by the wayside. But I wouldn’t trade it for the world.”
- “I have a lot more respect for my mother and what she did to take care of me and my siblings. It’s a really tough job”.
- “I drink a lottttttt more coffee.”
- “I find myself connecting with a lot more women. I think it’s because it helps when you can commiserate with someone in the same position. It gives you a sense of confidence that you’re not in it alone.
- “The things that I thought mattered before don’t even get put in the equation. I can’t remember the last time I actually did something for myself but I enjoy the selfless acts. My boys made me into a woman who enjoys just going with the flow and not to sweat the small things. I have been able to just live for the moments and my stress level is down”
Hope you all had a wonderful Mother’s Day and showed love to all the lovely mamas in your life!